If you’re a parent, you might have come across Alyce Chan’s mom comedy sketches online at night, after putting your kids to bed. If you haven’t seen them, be forewarned that they may cause you to laugh out loud and wake up your kids.
Chan is a stand-up comedian, producer, sketch writer and founder of MOMCOM, a platform that connects and empowers women and mothers through humour. She also produced BYOB – Bring Your Own Baby, a family-friendly comedy show where parents can bring their children.
During COVID, she began posting short videos on Instagram (@MOMCOMNYC) to try out her jokes. Her real and relatable snapshots of parenthood, such as giving kids enough notice before bedtime and meeting her Asian mom – as well as her grooving dance moves – resonate with many parents. Vogue India listed her Instagram account as one of the top funniest parenting accounts.
“Laughter – it’s such a healing medicine and it’s free,” said Chan, who is also a creative contributor to Scary Mommy. “If I’m able to offer that and if I have that power, then I want to share that to the world.”
Rediscovering her passion after becoming a mom
Humour has always been a part of her life, Chan said in an interview with Cold Tea Collective, but she pursued her passion when she was 29 years old. She had just moved to New York and was working full time at a pharmaceutical advertising agency. After a series of acting and improv classes, she braved the stage to perform her first stand-up and fell in love.
“I love the feeling of just having the ability to get the audience to have some sort of emotion,” said Chan, who now performs across North America. “I like taking them through a little storytelling journey and then knowing when they will laugh.”
After building her confidence as a solo performer, she began to do open mics and appear at various bars in New York City. However, as one of the few women of colour during that time in a male-dominated industry, it was an uphill battle.
“I was competing with a lot of male comedians and it was tough for a while because I wasn’t getting good feedback from the crowd.”
When she became pregnant with her first child, Chan took a break from being on stage and channeled her creativity into other fields like graphic design and photography. However, comedy would eventually find a way back into her life after her second child was born.
“I remember passing by this one bar [in Brooklyn] and there was a weekly show happening with an all women lineup, which didn’t, to me, seem intimidating, so I figuredI’ll just go watch a show,” said Chan. “It’s free, it’s right across the street from our apartment building, and I needed a break anyway.”
After attending the show, Chan knew she needed to get back to comedy.
See also: Amy Chan: Healing hearts through community
Building a supportive community for moms
Restarting her comedy journey after two pregnancies was not easy. Chan decided to produce her own shows after not receiving bookings despite performing at various open mics. It was also an opportunity to rebrand and draw from her personal life experiences as a mom, hence “MOMCOM.”
“I realized quickly that I couldn’t do the same content as I did before pre pregnancy, which revolved around ex boyfriends, dating and cats,” Chan explained. “Now, I’m like, OK, I gotta pivot.”
With this change, she stumbled upon a whole new demographic, moms and parents who need a relief from their hectic lives.
“I was like, wow, there’s so much parent content out there, and there are so many people who want parent content,” Chan recalled. “To me was a surprise, but also it was very motivating for me as well.”
During her first years as a new mom, she remembers feeling as if she had lost her individual identity. It led to feelings of resentment towards her husband which caused challenges in her relationship.
“I was very happy as a person and I loved being a mother, but I didn’t know part of me was gone and I didn’t know that was why I was kind of going on a downward spiral,” said Chan. “I was resenting my husband for, you know, being able to walk out the door. Every morning [ he was] going to a job, talking to adults, and coming home with interesting stories.”
Through launching MOMCOM, Chan hopes to cultivate a safe and supportive space for all moms and women by creating dialogue around their challenges of parenthood, so they “feel connected with themselves and others.”
“I wanted them to feel seen, heard and know that they’re not alone because I felt and lived that,” said Chan. “I wanted to provide that support for the women because no one really talks about it and I don’t think it’s really acknowledged.”
Breaking stereotypes of women and moms
Other than creating conversations about the hardships of raising children, Chan is also throwing stereotypes about women—especially Asian women—and moms out the door.
“There’s a general belief most people think women aren’t funny, and that Asian women are very demure and quiet and not vocal.”
Historically, Hollywood has played a major role in perpetuating one-dimensional stereotypes about Asian women. However, in recent years, movies with complex Asian women leads, like Joy Ride and Everything Everywhere at Once, as well as comedians like Mindy Kaling and Ali Wong, are transforming the narrative and bringing authentic identities to the screen.
Other than increasing diverse representation in the entertainment industry, she also wants to challenge societal expectations that mothers are happy and that they want to be with their children all the time.
“I think that mothers need to be physically away from their kids to be the best form of themselves,” Chan says.
Many of her MOMCOM sketches are based on navigating daily interactions with her kids, sometimes featuring Chan playing other characters inspired by other family members, like her husband.
Even though her husbands find the MOMCOM sketches funny, Chan is intentional about the narrative she is creating about gender roles, steering away from playing on stereotypes like how men don’t usually help out or have the same mental load as their wives.
“I do a lot of reels about me doing housework, but that’s the fact I do 75% of it, but it doesn’t mean that my husband’s not helping. I incorporate that into materials, but I’m not doing that by shooting my husband down,” she clarified.
“Women don’t want to look goofy. They’re not really like, they’re not physically falling over. It’s men that usually do that. Women are very poised and composed. No, I throw that out the door.”
She often delivers her sketch with dry, deadpan humour, and is never afraid to throw in some improvised dance moves.
“Whatever men can do humour wise, I think women can do that and maybe even better.”
Parenting as a modern Asian mom
In addition to uplifting other women, Chan’s commitment to MOMCOM and infusing humour into her life has also played a role in bringing her family closer together.
Growing up in a Chinese household, Chan’s parents never asked how their days went, hugged them, or tucked them into bed. She recalls a memory at seven years old, holding back tears while crossing the road because her mom had stopped holding her hands.
However, she recognizes that many parents in that generation did not have resources or support to turn to. Now a parent to two Chinese-Persian boys, she tries to display as much affection as possible to her children, because in her words, “it’s not going to damage them.”
“All those times where I felt pain has helped me become more of an affectionate patient mother,” said Chan. “I never want my child to feel what I felt because I know how it feels.”
Chan’s mom has since changed her style and is very loving towards her grandchildren. They stay with her for a whole month whenever they visit Vancouver, so they can learn about their Chinese heritage, from Chinese food, the language, and the Chinese New Year holidays.
Now, her family members, including her mom, husband and children all want to be a part of MOMCOM — though she admits part of the motivation comes from her paying them to be in her videos. They will even be sharing the stage with her in an upcoming stand-up show.
“I think they — my immediate family — see how happy I am. That, in turn, makes me feel like I’ve done my work, I’m very fulfilled and very happy. Now, I can carve out my time and just be focused on my family on the weekends.”
Laughing makes you a better parent
Studies have shown that laughter releases endorphins, the “feel good” hormones, and can potentially promote social bonds. Chan believes that laughing once a day can add so much to life and release the stress that many parents feel.
“If you’re a less stressed parent, you’re going to be a better parent,” said the mom of two. “I think that should be a mission to every parent, to just laugh with their kids.”
Going to a comedy show on a Friday night is not always possible for parents, especially those with little ones. Through Bring Your Own Baby, one of the few kid-friendly professional comedy shows, Chan is making the experience more accessible for parents and caretakers to attend shows during the day without needing to arrange for care.
@momcomnyc Meal planning ia the bain of my existence. #mealplans #personalchef #whattofeedmyfamily #funnymoms ♬ I Got 5 On It – Tethered Mix from US – Michael Abels & Luniz
“Mothers in a room with their babies that provides such a nurturing environment of unity and connection,” she said.
Through MOMCOM, Chan gifts free laughs through creating and sharing short digital content online. However, she urges parents to put down their phones and be present with their kids. Thinking back to her own childhood, she recalls the time between four to seven to be “the happiest time where the world is so magical.”
“I think that’s healing for us too, right, to be able to revisit that part of our childhood again.”
As part of our interview series, read our interview with Anita Chan, founder of We Trash Talk.
See also: Building communities beyond Vancouver’s Chinatown with Anita, Alyce, and Amy Chan
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